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Dolljoints and boatlights
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"I thought Ron and Jon were the same person and we just interspliced whichever we felt like" ~ TC, 6:54pm CST, 11/28/2017



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All is well, on a fine day on Leyang, people play in the streets, for the past few days, a number of posters have been placed around, advertising a musical special to be played on live television. Hours pass and people settle down for the broadcast. The programme starts facing a shadowed pianist and a piano. An almost eerie tune starts playing, as the camera cuts to the black and white gloved hands of the pianist. The shot also reveals a microphone, and then a pale face leans towards the mic, and the lyrics start.

Doesn’t it itch, weren’t they so rare?
Brie here at last being drowned, and Hugh in despair
Blow up the pounds

Isaac slit Chris, groans so amuse
Con who creeps all over town, and I so approve
But Claire’s at the grounds, tear up the grounds.

Drive trucks into musical stores
Finally blinding the man that I hated, brought roars
Making their entrails fall out again, with so much care
Done for train lines, guarantees scare

I so love a hearse, always I cheer.
I shot so many surely to haunt, caused many a tear
But bare all but frowns, please do not frown.
Doomed father, nowhere near

Who’s dead in a ditch, is it your peer?
Looting then priming a bomb at this pier.
But where is the clown, send in the clown
Don’t worry… I’m heh-heh-heh-HERE!

The lights come up, and they reveal a man in a purple suit, one to send shivers down the spines of many a veteran of the world.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen! Have you missed me?! I have missed you! Oh, I have, it’s been an awful state of affairs it, really, it has. You know, they do say that distance makes the heart grow stronger, and I say to hell with that! How can you possibly survive without dear old uncle Joker to get you through the year?! In mark of my return I have decided to throw a party! A party you are ALL invited to attend! Did I mention attendance is mandatory? No? Well it is, so buckle up, this is going to be one wild ride..

Welcome to…


I know just what you're all thinking. "Joker that all sounds just positively frightening!" And you would be absolutely right! So by all means, all you heroes. Come and stop me. You've got until Halloween.


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Gore Magala has entered the playing field, and thus the Frenzy virus has as well. Starting small in the Pony Fields, the virus will soon spread further. The signs and symptoms go as follows:

In large monsters, the Frenzy Virus causes a notable discoloration of the skin, fur, feathers, or hide, resulting in a dark purple hue all over the body. In addition, the monster's eyes will become a bright red and it will begin to huff a dark purple smoke from its mouth as it exhales. As its name suggests, the Frenzy Virus causes massively heightened aggression, speed, and strength in monsters, making them dangerously short-tempered and ferocious. The Frenzy Virus also seems to affect a monster's vocal cords, rendering all vocalizations shrill and harsh in sound.

In humans, the Frenzy Virus's effects are significantly different. Once infected, a person will experience a nullification of their natural healing abilities, making it impossible to recover health without the aid of healing items. They additionally receive more damage from a frenzied monster's attacks.

Weaker and smaller monsters either die from the virus or evacuate the premises, meaning the only monsters left in the dungeon will be the larger and stronger ones that survive being afflicted by the virus.

In humans (read: player character general that aren't straight up beasts) the virus itself isn't fatal, but how long it lasts is up to the strength of the character. The weaker they are, the longer it lasts. The virus is, however, contagious and can be transmitted from human to human the same way as from monsters: through scratches, coming into contact with their blood, or being sneezed/breathed on.


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Be sure to dress warmly, as snow has officially come to Leyang.

A steady supply of fresh powder can be expected in and around Dramaville and Sternbild from now until partway through January or February.

The northern island (if anyone remembers that it's still there) will remain far too warm for snow to fall.


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It's time for the snow to go away.


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The outbreak has spread to the annoying swamp dungeon!


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The construction of a grandiose castle on the side of the volcano has begun!

Lots of Koopas and other lackeys of Bowser can be seen working on it daily. It looks like there's some kind of kart racing course being added to it too!


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Wanted: An Adventuring Party! Jessamine is currently assembling a party either eliminate or capture the terrifying Gore Magala that has been infesting our fair city. Please contact if you wish to join the group! All participating members will be offered a share of the bounty.

Currently under the notice is a cell phone number along with a small roster of listed individuals.

CURRENT ROSTER: Jessamine (Chemist), Paige (Monk), Merilda (White Mage), Gylda (Geomancer), Replique (Mime)

WAR CHEST: Marisa's Bag of Potions


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A big, flashy quest notice has appeared in the Dungeon Diver's Guild and around town!

Quest: Exploration of an Unknown Island!

Client: Circe

Details: I've discovered the existence of an floating island appearing in Leyang. Origin appears to be magical, and the air surrounding it is magically charged. It is several days worth of travel by foot from Dramaville. Getting onto the island is complex, but I will handle that part.

Expedition time is 1 week and is for exploration purposes, but is subject to change as circumstances dictate.

Reward: None. Transport and supplies will be covered, and any significant valuables found on the island is yours to keep.

Those interested in joining the expedition please come find me at the Adventurer's Apothecary. Expedition begins in 1 week, or when I feel that we have suitable numbers.


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After excessively abormal amounts of leyline activity somewhere off the coast of Dramaville, a large volcanic/crystalline island has appeared on the horizon. This would probably have been all over the news for a bit.

The Elder's Recess is open for explorers, hunters, adventurers, and anyone else who might want to check it out !


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"In today's weather, the late start to the snow season of the city of Dramaville and all surrounding areas was broken in dramatic fashion early yesterday evening. In an as of yet unexplained weather phenomenon, a blanket of snow averaging three feet fell across the city, blanketing it in its entirety. Miraculously, despite several thousand tons of snow dropping over a span of about three seconds, no injuries have been reported and property damage has been minimal."

"This seems to have been all the kickstart the season needed, as only a few hours later, normal seasonal snowfall began. Meteorologists expect snow and ice conditions to be average throughout the season, outside of last nights freak occurrence of course, lasting until approximately late January to early or mid February."

"Now for the sports…"


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Every radio, TV, phone, and PA system in Dramaville suddenly flickers to life or has its programming interrupted
Each and every one with visuals now displays the frightening countenance you see before you
Half man
Half woman
But the expression is one of pure malice
Malice that the creature displayed takes great pleasure in feeling
And then it speaks. Its voice a mix of male and female, two voices spoken as one with a message of doom on its lips
Leyang! For far too long, you imbeciles have led your lives in peace and quiet! Your complacency has made you weak, your incompetence has made you foolish, and your idiocy has made you arrogant! But fear not, citizens of Leyang! Your salvation has come! The illustrious Dr. Hell! The magnificent Big Fire! You will be unable to pull your eyes away as Hell Fire sweeps over the land and sets you back on the right course! Rejoice! The end of your stagnation has come! This is our declaration of war! Hahahahahahahahaha!
The mad laughter echoes throughout the land as the broadcast ends and the regular broadcasts resume and implements that had been turned on for the announcement turn back off
At the shores of Dramaville, an explosion rocks the land


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FRIDAY, FRIDAY, FRIDAY (and the week after)






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Calling all experienced hunters!

A terrible huge monster was sighted deep in the caves of the Elder's Recess. We need a party to slay it before it escapes and wreaks havoc on the world!

Danger level: Extreme

xoxo The Guildmarm


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Lately there have been rumours going around adventurous circles that hidden deep, deep in Mount West is a large cave system.
That's nothing out of the ordinary on its own. But rumour also has it that these caves are practically flooded from gold from floor to ceiling. Gold everywhere you look, ripe for the taking. One might even call them the 「Caverns of El Dorado」.

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